18 Today And Still Depressed…
And they’re still arguing downstairs. Some things never change. I put on my iPod so that I can’t see them and put on ‘Everytime We Touch (Club Mix)’ by Cascada. It’s a catchy song. But it just makes me think of him 
Yesterday at work I was sent to close off upstairs, as I normally do, and I just started crying again. I was standing in the Janitor’s cupboard, filling up a mop-bucket, and sobbing my heart out. Because I love him and I want him back. But it’s never going to happen.
I got up this morning and I didn’t feel at all excited. My stepmum was heard telling my younger sister, her real daughter, that her end of year ceremony (she’s 11 and about to transition into secondary school) which is to be held today is more important than my birthday. She sat there with a grumpy look on her face when I was opening my cards.
I have few things I need to do today. But I just can’t motivate myself. I feel hopeless.
Confessions, I felt so sad reading this! My heart sinks when I hear hopelessness. That is such a rotten place to be at any time, but certainly at 18…(and close to/on your birthday??) I understand your feelings and I am sorry. This is certainly trite (and please forgive me that), but I must say to you, all is not hopeless. I feel certain you are a beautiful girl, with a definite and wonderful purpose in this world. Life has just begun… Blessings to you….:-)