Threw Up Again…

I just can’t keep the smallest bowl of cheerios down since he left me…He showed up at work last night (I didn’t know he was scheduled to work too but it turned out he was…) Everytime I looked at him I just started crying my eyes out…

I ended up getting home from work at half 10, only to write him a ten page letter (well ten and a bit) asking him to reconsider his decision to break up with me…I got the postie to drop it in this morning, as he [not the postie] only lives in the next road…haven’t heard from him since…we are still friends and all, and he’s giving me cuddles at work and telling me soon I’ll be “fine” and “everything will be ok” and how when he sees me cry he feels “ashamed” of himself, so it’s not that he’s going to react badly to the letter, but he gets offended (long story won’t go into) when people tell him they’re suicidal, and I sort of touched on that fact…

I’ve got to go to work in half an hour. He’s not working tonight, but I have to walk past his house, and I am a little nervous. Another night of trying to hide my tears from the customers. It doesn’t look good, but I can’t help it.

Depressed

My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday. He said he doesn’t feel the same way about me as he did when we first got together. Ever since, I’ve been walking around the house, crying my eyes out. I just don’t know what to do with myself. I tried playing guitar but I couldn’t seem to get anything out of it…

I woke up at 2am this morning, crying again, and couldn’t get back to sleep. Everytime I try to eat food just gets stuck in my throat. I literally forced myself to eat some cheerios this morning, then somehow 20 minutes later threw it up. So yeah. I can’t eat, and when I do eat, I can’t keep it down.

I’m going to work this evening, and at least it’ll give me something to do; a distraction from what I’m feeling inside. I’ve been feeling pretty suicidal, but I’ve been talking myself out of actually trying anything. My dad’s pills are quite tempting…he has loads of them, but his prescriptions are very expensive, and I feel guilty just entertaining the idea that I could take all his pills and be done with it.

I thought about going to a few different pharmacies and buying shit loads of painkillers, but I’ve heard it doesn’t actually work unless you take like 200…even then, there’s no guarantee that it’ll work, and if I was gonna do anything, I wouldn’t want the chance that I wouldn’t be successful…My parents are coming home tomorrow, and I’d be so annoyed to find myself waking up in hospital after being “rescued”…

 

Craving chocolate…at 10:30 in the freakin MORNING!

And no, I’m not pre-menstrual. I googled ‘craving chocolate’, just out of interest, to see what casuses this phenomenon…The Telegraph reckons that I may have different colonies of bacteria in my gut than those who don’t crave chocolate…According to a study documented in the article: “taurine - an active ingredient in energy drinks - was higher in people who did not eat chocolate while chocolate lovers had lower levels of the bad cholesterol, LDL.”  You can read the article here. 

“Chocolate can induce craving in a way that other sugary products like toffee or marshmallow don’t” according to the BBC website. Which, is unexplained, and I’m thinking I better stop reading about chocolate now, because it’s making it worse, and there are all these amazing pictures of chocolate all over the place…

It’s a mystery, but I really really fancy some chocolate right now!

Celebration!

No more revison! No more coursework! Yay! Just had to say that lol…for the first time in hmmm lets see…5 years…how awesome is that?…well ok, it’s only until I go to uni…which is in 3 months time, but hey I still have 3 months revision free!

Holiday Skin…

I am a pretty busy person. Unfortunately, I don’t have the time, or the patience to sunbathe. It’s getting hotter by the minute and still my skin is winter white (except for my left arm that I accidentally burnt and now has a massive, ugly tan line)…

I wanted to even out my skin and get ready for my summer holiday, without going orange, and I finally picked ‘Garnier Summer Body Moisturising Spray Mist’. I only just used it, so I am looking forward to seeing results!

It’s supposed to build a “gradual, natural looking tan” and it smells of apricot, which I quite like (the smell, not the taste)…If I go orange, we’ll all find out, but hopefully it doesn’t come to that!

I have just over a month to go, so hopefully I can have a “flawless, sun kissed tan” by then lol!

I love The Sims!

And I just found out that there are two new expansion packs due out in August; The Sims 2 Apartment Life and The Sims 2 Apartment Pets…wooooh!

“This expansion pack for The Sims 2 takes your Sims out of the suburbs and into a brand new busy apartment building! Adventure, fun, and drama await them as they explore their new neighborhood, mingle in coffee shops, visit a playground, meet new friends, and much more. Because there is now the ability to control multiple households in The Sims 2 Apartment Life, your Sims can live in happy harmony, or comical conflict.

New social networks and character types, including artsy bohemians, sports jocks, gadget-loving techies, and edgy gearheads spice up your Sims life. And, with a new reputation meter, your Sims can build up the respect they deserve from other Sims to be the most admired - or least-desired - Sim in the neighborhood. The better the reputation, the easier for your Sims to find the right friends to help them achieve their goals.

Make your Sims’ space look great in The Sims 2 Apartment Life! Five new building types that range from converted lofts to roomy and posh studios or luxury apartments with their own butler add to the creative and customized adventure. Enjoy a myriad of new decor options, including spiral staircases and lofty, high ceilings. Your Sims will get a whole new kind of experience through the drama of close quarters living!”

[original source]

More information can be found here.

100 millions sims games have now been sold around the world, and you can download a complimentary outfit for you sims here. Pretty decent, huh?

I messed up itunes…

I was installing the sims 2 seasons on my computer, when suddenly a message came up saying that there wasn’t enough space on C: So I decided to free up a load of space…all my pictures, videos, and evidentally music, went…

What I didn’t realise was, because I had deleted my whole itunes library, I could not transfer the music from my ipod back into itunes (we’re talking millions of songs that were taking shit loads of space up on my poor computer)…

And now I can’t even sync my ipod, which means no more new songs, because as there are no songs in my itunes library anymore, the ipod thinks that I’m trying to sync it with a different itunes library which isn’t the case at all…

So how do people get around it?

How can you keep all your music on your computer, in itunes, without taking up loads of space?

I mean, I have 60GB  altogether, what was I supposed to do?

And how do I get around this problem of not being able to put any more music on my ipod?

…HELP!

Thirsty

So I’ve been up doing revision, but I’m not allowed drinks in my room. I mean come on, it’s only water! But no, as per usual my little sister had to drop me in it “No-one’s allowed food / drink upstairs are they mum?”

It’s only a drink of water! You’re supposed to sip water while revising to keep your brain active! And I am not revising downstairs with all that banging going on (my dad’s using a hammer on the wall or something) it’s bad enough listening to it up here!

So I am extremely thirsty, I have a headache, and I’m trying to revise for my A Level exams, which evidently start next week.

You Me At Six…King’s College London…Wednesday 9th July

Not that the tickets have been bought and paid for yet, but my best friend and I have decided to go see You Me At Six on that day

It’s amazing to think that when You Me At Six supported AVA, we didn’t know any of the songs…a few weeks later we know them and love them!

The Last Of The Creme Eggs

Today, I found a cornershop selling leftover creme eggs from easter for £1 for 3. Bargain! Which leads me to wonder, should creme eggs be available all year round? I am aware of some arguments for and against already going on.

If creme eggs were available all year, then I would expect mini eggs also to be available all year. The plus sides: people love them, and they want to buy them.

But the negatives: this sends the message that easter eggs too should be available all year round, which undermines the traditional aspect of easter and easter eggs. Also, the public could grow tired of them quickly, and there will be less of a rush to buy them when Easter comes. Also, output is less easiar to determine; say every Easter 1 million creme eggs are bought, then the output will be say 1.5 million every year. But if they are available all year round, we don’t know when people are most likely to buy them.

Thinking about it, I have mixed feelings.

What do YOU think?